Living with a lazy eye

This afternoon when I was driving home from work the sun happened to be in that right spot where it was shining directly into my eyes. Instead of putting down the visor I decided to live a bit dangerously and soak up the sun (it wasn't the bright white but rather the deep yellow kind of sun). It was nice until I hit a shady part of the road and suddenly I had spots all over my vision so, I automatically shut my one eye that I usually use and used my lazy eye instead. The lazy eye wasn't looking directly into the sun so it wasn't as spotty. I did this naturally since I've always had this until suddenly I thought about how wierd that was.

I have a little bit of a lazy eye that normally isn't that noticeable unless I'm tired. I'm not really embarrassed about it but more annoyed when it's obvious that people can see it. When I was working retail (yeah for not working retail anymore!) and I would the next person in line what they wanted they would usually turn around to see who I was talking to. So annoying. Actually, I kind of think it's neat. I remember when I was a kid it really intrigued me.

I don't know if I actually use my lazy eye. When I close my lazy eye my vision stays the same (except for a little bit of peripheral). When I close my good eye, my vision shifts (about an inch or so perspective, right?). Is the visual input from my lazy eye actually going to my brain? Because it's not being integrated into the final product that my brain sees. If I close my good eye, forcing my brain to see from my lazy one, and then slllloooowwwwllllyyy open my good eye, I see from both eyes but seperately so it's like I have double vision. I remember telling my dad this when I was a kid. He didn't really understand so I looked at the table (the guys had just finished work on a Friday) and I said, "I can see two beer bottles. One here, and one there." Of course I saw two tables and two kitchens too but that's just how I explained it.

They tried to fix it when I was super young (beyond my memory). I had a patch on my good eye that was kind of like a big band-aid. There's a few good pictures of me with that eye. Mom says that she would rip it off at night when I was sleeping. Maybe that's why I don't remember. Dad nicknamed me cyclops. I thought it was great to have my own nickname. When I learned about Greek mythology I thought it was a great coincidence that they had a character also named cyclops. Until I realized that dad named me after a one-eyed monster. They also said I was a great chicken-catcher because of that one eye. I have no idea what having only one eye has to do with being able to catch a chicken. I was just quicker than the rest of them.

I also had the pleasure of testing out a theory from my optomotrist that bi-focals would fix a lazy eye. Do you know what it's like to go to grade 4 with thick bi-focals?!! You who are just trying to get used to them now when they are all chic and seemless have no idea. What a pain in the but! No wonder why I lost 3 or 4 pairs till we finally decided that it wasn't going to make a difference.

There are some differences. The eye that I use (the left one) is a teensy bit near (or is it far?) sighted. The lazy eye (the right one) has 20/20 vision. The lazy eye sees colours juuuusst a little bit bolder and brighter. Probably from less use. I can't really read that well from my lazy eye. That's a super wierd point. I can see everything just fine but I don't think I recognize words as fast or something. It's hard to explain. It's like the letters are all jumbled. Does the vision from each eye go to a different part of the brain?

I don't know if these are things that are normal with everyone's eyes or if it's just mine but I think I'll be a little disappointed if it is. I don't mind having a lazy eye. I still kind of have soft spot in my heart for cyclops.